Angels, demons and ghosts in the machine

Did you ever have the experience while working on your computer, of merging with its programs?

Years ago when I used to spend hours creating colorful images and animations, going timeless playing with the animated brushes and amazingly fun tools of DeluxePaint on an Amiga, there were times when the software would execute a command I was thinking, as I thought it. Before I could move my hand and mouse to pick a new brush, for example, the computer would select it. It was always amazing, and it happened many times, not just to me, but also to my artist husband as he painted on the Amiga. We both experienced the synchronization or merging of our minds with the software. In the years since the Amiga died, it has happened to me only once, when I was creating a complex layout with QuarkXpress on the Mac, that I was able to attain that creative flow state of mind and merge with the machine. I wonder – has it ever happened to you?

Our nerve cells, and the biggest collection of nerve cells, our brains, generate and are enveloped in dynamic electrical energy fields that vibrate at specific rates. The fields extend out from our bodies to merge with each other, and with our machines, which also possess electrical fields. In more than 20 years working with computers, besides this “merging” experience, I have also had the distinct feeling that there truly can be “ghosts” in the machine–and angels.

On many occasions I’ve been in a negative, distracted, agitated state of mind, and when I sit down at the computer to work, the machine crashes. Through experience I have learned that when such crashes happen, I need to close my eyes, take a deep breath to calm my thoughts and slow down my mind, to take charge of my energy, and to enter into a more positive state. And then, amazingly, the machine responds, functioning properly. I know individuals whose energy patterns routinely seem to cause computers or even other kinds of equipment to fail when they come into physical contact.

Similarly I have learned that if I am faced with a difficult, emotionally challenging experience with people, whether it is public speaking or meeting with a difficult individual, that if I close my eyes, focus on slowing my breath, and say a prayer beforehand, the outcome will be much easier and more successful. Years ago I used to practice affirmations, repeating a positive thought or idea to myself. That definitely helped, but I have found that taking a few deep breaths, centering my attention inward, and then acknowledging a higher power, asking for help and guidance–in essence, praying–is actually much more effective.

I have also had the experience of what I feels like an entirely independent “presence,” working through the machine.  For example,  I went through a period several years ago when I struggled with a negative mind state; for whatever reason, my ego was feeling threatened, my thoughts were replaying memories evoking very negative emotions of anger or fear. I felt defensive, hurt, victimized.  Usually this would be at night before going to bed. Compulsively, I would compose and send an email, to the relative or friend whom I love but who was the target of my current negative emotions. Then in the middle of the night I would wake up remorseful, even panicked, my conscience now bigger and stronger than my sleep-shrunken ego–over sending the communication, because I didn’t really mean to. I realized that I was to blame for my negative state of mind, and that my words would hurt the recipient, make things worse, not better. I felt sick inside that I had sent the communication.

In the morning when I logged in to my computer, I found that the email I sent had bounced; even though the address was correct, something had prevented it from being delivered. This happened to me several times in the early days of my computer use, and I have always been grateful to whatever force it was that saved me from myself.

Not that it happened every time; like many people today, I have suffered and caused suffering, by hitting “send” without compulsion, without editing, without stopping to calm myself, and review what I wrote from a more detached perspective.

As the internet has grown and people have become linked, in an addicted way, to their machines–to Facebook and to Twitter and to texting– I cannot help but think that unseen forces, for good, and for evil, are out there, in the machine, taking advantage of our mass addiction, and  influencing people as they can, much like my angel helped block my negative outburst.

By the way, I have noticed that these negative, ego-generated states of mind seem to occur most frequently at night, when tired. This would be a good reason to practice positive affirmations, meditate, or best yet, to pray, before going to bed.

Last night, I did not pray.  Just before bed I spent 15 or 20 minutes on Facebook, scanning the many posts and responding to a few.  Then I went to bed, and as I was drifting off to sleep, an image, like a suggestion, suddenly popped into my head: I saw an angry thought and a desire, in a way that was like an impulsive command, to set off a bomb in a public place.  It was absolutely freaky. And I felt it had come into my mind from outside, specifically from the internet, to which I had just “merged” my mind, just prior to bed.

So this morning, I woke up thinking about this experience, and about the teachings of Elder Thaddeus, who is the spiritual guide to our 4th graders this year at St. Nicholas. He tought how critical our thoughts are. That when we read and hear about these horrible stories in the media of random and insane human violence and destruction, that such behavior is very likely fact driven by the fallen one, taking advantage of the unconscious addiction to which we modern humans have given ourselves.  And an idea came to me for how to counter this negative, even demonic, presence and influence.

As so many today know, our thoughts are very powerful; our thoughts determine our lives. And prayer is a form of thought that has even more power, for it calls out to the Creator for divine assistance.*  Many of us practice positive thinking; many of us practice meditation, of slowing our thoughts to a more peaceful place; and many of us practice prayer, and belong to prayer groups. If we were to flood the internet, flood Facebook, with positive thoughts and prayers, perhaps we can raise the vibrational level to be in league with God, with the angelic forces, help them do their work, raise the vibration of the entire world.

It would be interesting to do a broad experiment, and invite to post their favorite positive thought or prayer online, every night before bed. Many do this, but perhaps if we did purposefully, together, we could wage peace.

Every thought expressed, every word spoken, is like a pebble dropped in a still pond. It ripples outword. Perhaps what we need is more silence. The water is churning chaotically and fiercely with so many words. Maybe we would be best served by being still, saying nothing, and letting the waters quiet down.

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